Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize