fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
