the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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