worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize