you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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