i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I just put wine in my tea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
