Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize