nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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