so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize