Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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