Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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