so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You were trust falling into bushes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
