Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
