fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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