Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
