Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
