Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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