did you get engaged???
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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