Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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