I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
