So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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