Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
