found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
