he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
