You're my little dorito
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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