We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
