yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
