I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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