Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize