Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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