I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
