Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize