6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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