so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
