Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
