My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
