Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Are my feet made of real feet?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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