from now on my penis is your penis
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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