Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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