Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
