My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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