we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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