Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
