glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
