he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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