i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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