Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
