Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
