I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
