so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
