Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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