This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
nutella sex= disaster
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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