If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
