Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
