And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
