My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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