Farmville is her only friend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
