i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
