who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
