respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
