____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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