people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
